


Dreaming a perfect illusion

by InLoveWithHerBiasFanfiction



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Death of Character, Drama, Fantastic, M/M, Obsession, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Violence, Tragedy, adult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 09:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14638719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLoveWithHerBiasFanfiction/pseuds/InLoveWithHerBiasFanfiction
Summary: It was just like walking into love.A dream like love.But, it was, in fact, just a perfect illusion.





	Dreaming a perfect illusion

**-… young man ? Young man ? Hey ! Do you ear me ?**

**I opened my eyes and jumped out of my seat, surprised, I looked around... wait… ?…seat ?**

**\- Ooh ! Easy here ! Someone said a little flustered.**

**I looked around, trying to figure out where I was but all I could see were benches, old paintings, stained glass window, and an altar with an impressive golden cross. A… Church ? How did I end up here ?**

**\- Young man ? Are you ok ?**

**I turned my head in the direction of the voice. A man, all in black with only a white little band showing around his neck, was standing in front me, staring at me with consern and a gentle smile.**

**A priest.**

**His face looked like an old wrinkled parchment. He had a gentle smile on his lips but his hazel eyes were keen and sort of… penetrating ?**

**\- Young man are you ok ? The priest asked once again, his voice as soft as silk. It was as if he was talking to a scared animal. Do you know where you are ?**

**I nooded.**

**\- A church.**

**The priest chuckled as he motioning me to sit down too. So I did.**

**\- Yes, this is Church St. Patrick. I’m one of this chrch priest. My name is Stephen Kim JinSuk. And you ?**

**-…**

**\- You do have a name right ?**

**-…**

**He raised an eyebrow when he syill didn’t get a reply form me. He just nodded his head and his smile grew a little larger, not pressing me any longer.**

**\- Young man, I will be frank with you…**

**I swallowed my saliva.**

**-…You have been seating here since early afternoon and…**

**\- Did… it cause some sort of inconvenience ?**

**The priest ignored me and continued his sentence as if I had never talked in the first place.**

**-… I was wondering if you needed to talk ?**

**-… talk…**

**\- Yes, talk.**

**I shook my head.**

**\- No. I… have nothing to talk about.**

**\- Are you sure ? Father Stephen Kim JinSuk asked as he intensely looked at me.**

**\- I am.**

**\- Really ? He promply retorted, his eyes locked straight into mine as if he was able to gaze at every nook and cranny in my soul.**

**I fidgeted in my seat, uncomfortable. That priest was a little… scary.**

**\- To me, it does seems like you need help, son.**

**I stared at his wrinkled face. He still had his benevolent smile and his piercing gaze on. I slowly opened my mouth.**

**\- What make you think so ?**

**A smile appeared on his old face.**

**\- Well, a grow up boy like yourself wouldn’t take a scroll without a phone right ? Who take a scroll without his phone nowadays ? The priest examinated me from head to toe. You don’t look like you are carrying a cellphone with you and your pants don’t look like they have any pockets. So I’m assuming you don’t have one on you. Besides doesn’t all youngsters nowadays, always have their phone in hand or on themself as if their life depend on it ? You are also free from any belonging- He pointed out while looking at my feet- you have no bagn no, make me think it wasn’t a planned act but somehow happened in the midst of an argument. Maybe with your parents, a sibling or a lover. The priest plissed his eyes, examining me once again. I will bet on a lover.**

**I shrugged my shoulders but was inwardly very impressed. That man should have been a detective. What a waste.**

**\- I think you left home without thinking; you just wanted to leave quickly and put as much distance between you and your house as possible. Maybe it was the only thing you had in mind and without realizing it you wandered here and there and your feet lead you here, in this church. Am I right ?**

**I couldn’t help but nood. His deductions were spot on.**

**\- How…?**

**\- I have been a priest for a very long time, young man. I can recognize people like you easily. And I wont call the police so don’t worry. You are an adult  and you didn’t do anything wrong after all.**

**I smiled. Then he added**

**\- Even through you do look a little suspicious…**

**I frowned, a little offended. The father noticed and laughed.**

**\- I was just teasing you a little.**

**We stayed silent for a while after this. And I took the opportunity to look around. The church was empty. No one was here beside me and the priest. My gaze landed on the man sittinf next to me. And I was a little surprised to see him looking at me.**

**\- Are you ready to talk now ? he softly asked me, his eyes then shifted to look behind me. I turned around and followed the trajectory of his gaze. It was on what looked like a wooden wardrobe with burgundy coloured curtain and extremely fancy ornaments on it.**

**At first I didn’t understand what he was trying to say but after seeing the wooden box everything became crystal clear.**

**\- You want me to go in this ? I asked, looking at him.**

**He smiled as he parted his joint hands.**

**\- Only if you want to. After all, I am here to help people like you.**

**\- People like me ?**

**He nooded.**

**\- Yes, people who had lost their way, seeking either God or the Devil, looking for help, seeking either redemption or damnation. A lost soul about to vanish like a puff of smoke. But most of them end up leaving without doing what they had come to do here.**

**With my eyes still locked on the confessional box, I asked him if, in his eyes, I was what he called "lost soul".**

**\- You indeed do look like one, He replied.**

**\- Why ?**

**\- You seem to be a tormented soul weighed down by his sins.**

**Saying this, he, once again, looked at me with his impressive dark eyes. They were scrutinizing me with a compassionate intensity.**

**\- Will you be able to help me if I go in there ?**

**\- I don’t know. But talking about what upset you may be the first step to it.**

**I once again stared at the confessional.**

**It was an impressive furniture divided in 3 separated parts. It was formed of two lodges which were surronding a compartment were the priest was supposed to sit and listen to the penitent. On each door of the confessional were carved a huge quantity of lily’s pattern, leaf, olive branches, grapes and ear of wheat. The pinnacle placed on top of it was lavishly trimmed with wooden structures forming a considerable amount of intrinsic rosettes and blooming flowers. Little gables were accompanied the pinnacle. They were decorated with round cross and laurels branches.**

**It was beautiful…**

**Too beautiful for someone like me…**

**I closed my eyes for a brief moment before looking up and staring at the old priest. He shook his head and leaned it to the side, his eyes sparkling; almost challenging and said :**

**\- Are you going to give up halfway like them ?**

**\- If I tell you my story there is no guarentee that you wont...**

**Before I could finish my sentence I was interrupted.**

**\- Boy, as a priest, I can assure you that I have heard lot of things that may be seen as unpleasant for other people already… a little more wont faze me.**

**I stared at him. His eyes were calm without any ripple. There was no judgement in them, only patience, kindness and compassion.**

**\- I am not a… religious person…**

**\- No one is perfect…**

**I stared at the priest some more. Then he shook his head.**

**\- That doesn’t change anything even if you aren’t. He replied calmly. I’m a priest. It is my duty to hear the distress of my brothers and sisters in the name of our lord Jesus-Christ. Christian or not.**

**\- Will Jesus still love me even if I love a man ?**

**The priest stared at me, his eyebrowns arched on his forefront,  flash of surprise passed by quickly into his eyes before disappearing. His face stayed calm. His dark eyes looked at me with the same emotion in it. Well, not exactly the same. Something else was there now and it was… love ?**

**Love ? Why ?**

**I tilted my head. It was an incomprehensible situation for me.**

**\- I see, he finally said, you must have suffered. He added.**

**I smiled.**

**\- I did…**

**Another silence was established between us. It wasn’t an awkward one. It was just him waiting for me. After some time I finally opened my mouth.**

**\- Do you want me to tell you what happened ?**

**\- Go ahead, he politely accepted, giving me his full attention.**

**I smiled again, turned my head and looked at the altar and the golden cross placed on it.**

**\- The first time I got to know "him" was in a peaceful coffee shop near our family restaurant. It was my father who dragged me there saying « It’s a nice place to chat and It feels like home ». Sadly my encounter with him wasn’t as peaceful as that coffee shop was. I smiled as images scrolled down before my eyes. Unexpectedly, we meet and talked to each other with the help of my pen and my coffee cup. Which ended up on him and ruined his expensive looking suit.**

**I laughed a little before sighing.**

**\- When I lifted my head to peek at his expression, I was left stunned and stood in front of him in a daze like an antelop in the middle of a road full of raging cars. I must have looked dumb. But who would blame me ? The man standing in front of me was like walking hormone. Tall, handsome and in a suit. The perfect combo. He even had reading glasses on ! The man was busy so he tossed me his business card and flew away to his business meeting ; only leaving his number for me to contact. And this is how the biggest crisis of the day turned into the most blessed one in the blink of an eyes. We meet once again in the coffeeshop, and proposed to pay for the cleaning of his ruined suit. He refused at first but I persisted until he gave in. The suit price almost made me choke but I still paid for the cleaning. Later, I came back multiple time to the shop ; hoping I could see him and I worked. We started chatting and although we don’t share many hobby in common we still quickly became friends. But, growing inside me, were feeling you could hardly call « friendship ». Love was more like it.**

**I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.**

**\- Six months later, I finally gathered my courage to tell him how I felt about him. He accepted me and we started dating the following day. Those days, were the happiest of my life… sadly, it didn't last long. After two years, I discovered he was… cheating on me.**

**I hid my face behind my palms.**

**\- I… loved him, treasured him so much… how could he… how could he ?**

**For the first time in a while, the priest opened his mouth to talk.**

**\- So ? What did you do ? The priest murmured in my ears. After all, you loved him so much. Did you sneake inside into his room in the middle of the night ? Did you assault the both of them at the same time ? No... I’m sure you attacked the man your boyfriend was cheating you with first. You smached his skull to piece with… let’s see… hum… a hammer ! Yes, a hammer. The priest chuckled, his eyes teasing and glowing with madness. The poor man mustn’t have even noticed how he died. There was blood all over the place. Especially on your precious lover face…**

**_No_**

**\- -… who witnessed the whole thing. But he couldn’t run away or cry for that matters because he was too shocked to do so. Then you pushed the bloody corpse off the bed and turned your sight on your beloved. Of course, you didn’t kill him. You were angry at him but he was still the one you loved Ô so dearly. You body was full of adrenaline. you wanted him and so you took him on his bed, covered in the man’s blood…**

**_Stop it_**

 

**-… and while you took him, you spat your bitter feeling ; laying under you looking like a broken doll he was staring unblinking at his lover dead body...**

**_Please_ **

**\- You insulted both of them and cursed the heaven and the eath and as you spate all of your rage you realised you had strangled him to death.**

**_No… more_ **

**\- You loved him so much…**

**\- Shut up…**

**-… you didn’t want to kill him but you did anyway…**

**\- Shut up !**

**-… out of remorse, you tried to cut your vein but... coudln’t do it. So you ran. You ran away, leaving everingthing behind.**

**\- SHUT UUUUUUUUPPPP !!!!! I DIDN’T DO IT !! I DIDN’T !!! I DIDN’T !!!**

**The priest gazed at me, I couldn’t make out his features anymore. His person was half shrouded in darkness and half basked in light. I almost thought there was two of them. The priest smiled. It was a predatory smile, full of malice, killing intent and mockery.**

**\- But… it is the truth. Look !**

**His hand pointed at the altar. The cross was no longer on it. Instead a film, just like in a movie theater was playing. Rooted in place, I couldnt only watch helplessly at the scene happening in front of my eyes.**

_**The sky was dark; lightning were streaming across the night sky and a cold wind was howling heavily. A shadow looked around him. The neighborhood streets, were totally void of any kind of living being. An icy blast of air strongly rustled the tree branches in the streets avenue. The shadow readjusted the hood of his coat who started to fall off and quickly rumaged thourough his jeans pocket and pulled a house key out. A strange smile bloomed on his face.** _

_**He insered it into the keyhole and slowly turned it. Tree time. A soft click was heard. The door was open. He finally had access to the house. He could finally be with his beloved.** _

_**He expertly turned the door knob soi t couldn’t make any noise and entered the house slowly and carefully.** _

_**He halted in front of the corridor, which was dark and deserted, leading, as he studied the floor plan a month ago, to the guest room, bathroom, toilet, kitchen and living-room. There was also stairs leading to the first floor in front. But his gaze was on the stairs. He noticed that the staircase’s light were switched on. Meaning someone was upstairs.** _

_**He blissfully smile. His beloved, was perfectly on schedule.** _

_**He took some steps forward to peek into the living-room. Like the corridor, no one was there. Lightning illuminated the house entrance. The lightning were striking here and there as the wind was howling even stronger than it was a moment ago. He nervously headed straight to the staircase. His destination : the first and last floor. In front of the starting step, he stared at the first floor through the guard. There weren’t any kind of suspicious movements. He grabbed the handrail and stepped on the first step. Without making a sound he promply climbed the flight of stairs and safely made it to the last one.** _

_**He glanced at his right where the bathroom and guest room were. The doors were all closed but there was light in the bathroom.** _

_**Tense, he slowly walked toward the bathroom’s door; reached out his left hand to grab on the doorhandle when he heard a soft sound coming from his left side. He noticed the light coming from his beloved room.** _

_**Wash e waiting for him ?** _

_**He was happy.** _

_**He, then turned his body around and interest away from the bathroom; quietly moved forward while observing the light coming out of his beloved bedroom. It was flooding a part of the corridor. To have so much light enlightening the corridor must mean the door was probably left open. As he was gradually coming closer, he heard the strange sound coming from his beloved’s room again.** _

_**He swallowed his saliva with difficulty. His nervousness was growing bigger; droplet of sweat were dripping down from his forehead to his temple, both of his hands were moist; his breath was becoming more and more erratic as he reached his room. Like he guessed, the door was indeed left open and the sound was a lot more louder; even though the storm was still going strong outside, helping him drown the sound of his footstep on the wooden floor.** _

_**He put his back against the wall, holding his breath, an ecstatic smile on his face as he briefly closed his eyes for a short while. Then he slowly sneaked a peek through the open door.** _

_**And what he saw nerly killed him.** _

_**His love was indeed there. But he wasn’t there alone.** _

__

_**Eli couldn’t see who it was since the only thing he was focusing his attention on was the body of his dear love in front of him.** _

_**His beloved was on the bed in this dimly lit room; his skin was slightly tanned and drenchend in sweat. His body, slightly enlightened by a bolt of lightning striking outside the window, was moving up and down with a sensual, rhythmical chant as backround music. His head was bouncing to one side to another, his wet hair were flying around him each time his head was moving. He was working his hips as if they were waves crashing on a rocky embankment. Suddendly, a hand came flying toward him, grbbing his shoulder and pushed him back on the bed. The man leaned towards him wth two of his fingers, he pulled his lips apart, stuck out his tongue and gave him a very passionate kiss. He could see how their tongues were fighting for dominance, their aggressive kissing were producing an handful of maoning and wet outrageous sounds.** _

_**His beloved pushed his lover away from him. He then kneeled in front of the other man long spread legs and proceeded stroke the skin on the head of his penis. After a few stroke, it retracted itself and started to drip a litte on his hand. A little of white fluid was actually pourring down from the head. He then saw his beloved opening his mouth wide to put the fleshy thing inside it. He had his eyes closed, gripped the base and round balls into his hands and quickly bobbed his head up and down. Slowly at first then he started moving faster and faster, the thing was almost at this throat. His face was flushed red and from time to time he peeked at the man’s expression. Seeing him taking pleasure in his blowjob, he happily redoubled his efforts into pleasuring him until he unleashed his load into his mouth.** _

_**The man was panting, satisfied and patted his beloved head as if to reward him for his service. He swallowed the cum into his mouth before licking away the stain near his mouth. He also licked his hand. Some cum were on it.** _

_**\- How does it taste like ? Asked the man.** _

_**Thunderstruk, he felt his blood froze in his vein after hearing the man voice. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. This voice. He knew it. It was… It was...** _

_**\- Nothing. It tastes totally bland.** _

_**He shrank back a little. His mouth was still wide open as if a silent cry was coming out of it. His heart was beating fast, he had some difficulty breathing and his vision was clouded by tears. The shock was taking a tool on his body. But something else began to spread in him. It was like a fierce heat coming from his guts, promptly crawling inside is vessels, reaching his heart to finally invade his brain. His whole body was shaking with a vicious blaze.** _

_**« That son of a bitch ! How could he ? How could he ? » He whispered in between his teeth, his eyes bloodshot.** _

_**\- Really ? The man said, stretching his hands out to grab one of his lovers legs before spreading his buttocks. The man manhood was hard again and ready to go. His lover noticed it and soon a seductive smile spread on his lips. He grabbed the sheet thighly, took a little breath and spread his legs apart some more.** _

_**\- Come !** _

_**With a thrust the man lead his penis into his lovers hole. The later immediatly moaned, felling the road sliding in and out slowly and swiftly groaned louder when the man pounded into him faster.** _

_**He had enough. He didn’t want to watch them any further. He wanted to crush his skull and burn his eyes along to erase what he saw. He shook his head; he was felling dizzy, as he tried to suppress his urge to throw up. His entrails were protesting violently at the sight of the man he loathed having his way with the man he loved. It was too disgusting for him.** _

_**« I will kill him, I will kill him. » he murmured as he was staggered back in order to get away from what was happening in the room. He loudly bumped into the stairscase guard.** _

_**\- Did you heard that ?** _

_**He heard the bed creaking and some ruffling sound. His rival was probably putting his clothes on. That man was about to come out. Strangely, he wasn’t panicked at all. In fact he was very calm. Too calm.** _

_**He leisurely looked around him and promply headed toward the staricase. He quickly headed toward the kitchen.** _

__

_**without making any noise, he walked into the kitchen. He didn’t turn the light on. With his arm extended in front of him to guide him in but, he bumped into the kitchen workshop. he sweared in between his teeth and proceeded to follow the edge of the workshop since it could lead him to where he wanted to go ; and he indeed reached his goal. The kitchen sinks. Near it was the storing knife. His hand fumbled in the dark toward it. Of all the knifes, he choose the third one on the left on storing knife because its blade was the longest and had the sharpest edge. Lightning illuminated the kitchen, the second he grabbed the knife handle. He nodded and walked toward the door. The wind was howling like a beast ready to pounce on his prey. He noticed the man making his way down the stairs.** _

_**He calmy tightened his grasp around the knife handle and waited form him. For him to come toward him. He smiled an insane grin. As he was hidding behind the counter, he heard the hated man footstep passing by and going into the living room and cheking the other living quarters.** _

_**As he was hidding, images of what he saw came haunting him. Naked skin, sweat, crumpled bed sheets, maoning and heavy breathing. He shook his head; trying to chase away the awful memories but instead a growing anger came once again twisting his entrails.** _

_**The man footstep came back. He was here. He was done checking the other rooms he was heading this way.** _

_**He looked at his knife clutched into his sweaty hands. Suddendly, the kitchen door opened. Jaeseop was standing in front of the frame door. He lifted his head, A demonic smile speard on his lips.** _

_**The man entered the kitchen. He looked around. Nothing was wrong. Still, he decided to investigate further. After all, someone could be hidden behind the kitchen workshop for all he knew. And he was right.** _

_**The man quivered a little when he noticed him crouched behind the counter in the dark. He stared at him, astonished.** _

_**\- Wha…** _

_**But he didn’t let him finish his sentense, he rushed out and thrusted his blade into the rival’s heart. Following the shock of being stabbed, his mouth opened in a "O" shape but before any sound could come out, Eli put his hand against his mouth to muffle the sound. He silently dragged him behind the counter. Blood was spilling everywhere. The rival couldn’t breath properly and his eyes couldn’t focus on anything either. His mouth was flapping around like a goldfish out of his tank. He almost wanted to laugh out loud at the sight. But instead, he coldly pushed the knife further into his heart then ram it into his stomach for the nth time before, finally slicing his neck; silencing him for good.** _

_**He kneeled in front of the dead man. His eyes were already starting to lose their luster. Still, he poked him in his riddled-with-holes-stomach with the knife edge.** _

_**\- Heyyyy ?! Are you dead, bastard ?!** _

_**Silence.** _

_**\- Are you really dead, fucker ? He asked again, nudging his cheek with his forefinger this time.** _

_**Silence.** _

_**He put his head side way, smiling like a lunatic. He once again sunk his knife into his dead rival’s heart.** _

_**\- Of course, you are dead. After all, I doubt anyone could be fine with a knife stuck in their heart, right ?** _

_**He silently laughed as he watched the blood sully the grey tiles on the floor.** _

**\- After that, you left the body in the kitchen, went back to the first floor and raped your « lover » then killed him. Realising what you had done in your anger you tried to commit suicide but like the little larvae thaat you are, you couldn’t do it so you ran away and carried on with your life as if nothing had happened. You are trully something ! The priest said, laughing, his cold mocking eyes landing on me.**

**I tried to run. Strangely, even through I ran with all my might, I couldn’t reach the heavy and closed wooden door carved with cross and black iron. The priest, in his black robe, just laughed. He laughed crazily. Laughed until tears fell out his eyes. Bright crimson tears. Without much effort, the priest launched itself my way. His golden gaze were blank, his mouth was wide open, the inside was pitch black and bottomless.**

**\- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo…**

**Inside a two story house, wrapped in police line tape, in the uninhabited house and specifically in the living-room, the Tv was switched on, relaying today’s news.**

**« - […] in other news, mister Lee Joonhyung, 27, working at the famous restaurant " _Summer Deer "_ as one of its chefs, died between the 20th and 21th. The estimated time of death was midnight. The body was found by his mother. It was later revealed, in a letter he had personnaly wrote and sent to the police station of Seoul, to have confessed of being the murderer of Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin, owners of the famed restaurant " _Summer Deer"._ It was said, in the letter…-**

**In the empty living-room, the Tv was suddenly switched off.**

**An eerie breeze blew inside the house as the door of the master bedroom on the first floor slammed shut.**


End file.
